mr. president-elect,.

get us out.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/11/13/soldier.blogger/index.html?eref=rss_mostpopular

every day, a writer gets her wings.

please hold while i high-five my 14 year-old self through the spacetime continuum.

http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2008/11/catching-up-with-butch-walker.html

r.i.p.

lipstick jungle has been cancelled. and hey, it wasnt half bad. but as long as they dont kill pushing daisies, everyone gets to keep their heads.

SPIN is on top of it today.

third good news i've gotten from the site today, and its not even 12:30.
http://www.spin.com/articles/eddie-vedder-and-sleater-kinney-singer-collaborate

she did it with you.

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2008/11/6haynes.html

genius.
and: megan came, saw, bought the state and left full of weighed down cheer. a success to be sure (even if i made her miss her flight, sorry lady). weird day today, but marching on.

yes: to raincoats.

thank you.

I'm about to head to Grant Park to talk to everyone gathered there, but I wanted to write to you first.

We just made history.

And I don't want you to forget how we did it.

You made history every single day during this campaign -- every day you knocked on doors, made a donation, or talked to your family, friends, and neighbors about why you believe it's time for change.

I want to thank all of you who gave your time, talent, and passion to this campaign.

We have a lot of work to do to get our country back on track, and I'll be in touch soon about what comes next.

But I want to be very clear about one thing...

All of this happened because of you.

Thank you,

Barack

crinkle.

pitchfork top 500 songs.

happy.

today, shawn quit her soul crushing job that constantly depresses her and already has a 2nd interview with an awesome marketing company in atlanta lined up. as i told her, i dont like my friends being miserable at work,.. theres no point in that. i know the economy is bad, but there really are good jobs out there and its so silly to work a job that makes you miserable (money aint everything, and why spend 40-80 hrs a week doing something you dont believe in?) so congrats, lady. youre on your way.

ask, you shall receive.

as a music person, i constantly get asked (like many of you, im sure) who my fave band or singer is, what my fave song is, the best show ive ever been to or three records i'd take to a desert island. faced with the prospect of living on an island with only 3 records and nothing else leads me to believe i'd jump off a palm tree to my death, but the others are valid.

i have little to answers to questions like these and the mere mention of them boggle the mind beyond any thoughtful consideration. but to give you something, other than my end of the year lists, i thought i'd doll out at least one semi-specific love of mine.

for whatever reason (and there and many, some explainable and some not) i am quite obsessed with band of horses. i quite adore literally every song theyve ever laid down. my favorite, if hard pressed, is most likely "the general specific" off of their latest, cease to begin. the song has the ability to make me feel a million things, to take me to a certain place in time, to give me chill bumps and to cause my mind and heart to race. this has been done countless times in my life, most notably by ryan, johnny, and millions of other old timers. but this song (and all of their others, to their own degree) elicits a very "of now" type of reaction that seems to melt me down to the very core of how i feel right this second, not hinging on the past or hollowing out the future. and while i might usually wish for a more obscure track to lift me up to such a shattering space, i stand by this band, their music, and the possibly cliched way it makes me feel.

If your trials end, are really getting you down
We had a close call, I didn't even see it, then another one, I hardly believed it at all.
What the writers say, it means shit to me now.
Plants and animals, we're on a bender when it's 80 degrees, the end of December was coming on,
Only for you and me.
When the showing up ends, going back to the south, where hungry necks that I know, and runnin'
A blender in a lightning storm, disguised as a blessing I'm sure.
Knowing up here, there comes a fork in the road, pants have gotta go, we're on an island on
The fourth of July, looks like the tide is going home.
In time I'd find a little way to your heart, down to the general store for nothing specific,
Gonna wash my bones in the Atlantic shore - only for you and me

darn.

not only did i totally guess wrong (about 5 times)...this just isnt what i was hoping for. and of one of my fave issues of the year. although, i hope this will help me rest my final case that EW is for super nerds.

happy halloween.

TOP TEN REASONS TRICK-OR-TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX.

Number 10
You're guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

Number 9
Once you've done it, you don't have to wait an hour to do it again.

Number 8
The uglier you look, the more likely you'll get some.

Number 7
You don't have to make small talk with the person who gave you the treat.

Number 6
The person giving it to you isn't fantasizing that you are someone else.

Number 5
If you get a stomach ache, it won't last for 9 months.

Number 4
If you wear a mask, no one thinks you're kinky.

Number 3
It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

Number 2
The next day you don't have to call the person that gave it to you.

And the . . Number 1 . . reason trick-or- treating is better than sex.....
If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door!!

crap.

can't believe im missing this.

little ashes.

Little Ashes has already played at some European film festivals and is scheduled for release in the states March 27, 2009.

like a drug.

i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. tomorrow night will be hard.

leaving me breathless, godard.

the kids are catching on.

frickity frack.

spring awakening is closing before i get back to NYC. i really would have liked to have seen that before it left for good, esp since i went to school with half the cast. darn.

omg.

pop up video bliss.

dang.

cancelled ex-list. after you grew on me and everything.

oh, ry.

you've got me blogging about you way too much, sir. but this is pretty funny.

Ryan Adams has produced albums by Willie Nelson, as well as recorded seven albums of his own, including three with his band, the Cardinals. This alt-country/rock singer-songwriter has performed around the globe and is finishing his first book, Infinity Blues (Akashic Books, 2009). As a voice of his generation, the editors of World Policy Journal asked him to reflect on his world 25 years from now. Following a lengthy e-mail exchange, Adams delivered, with an explanation, this piece which follows.

How to Save the World from Doom Where You and It Are Headed -- Ryan Adams

What I am about to suggest as my final piece is highly conceptual and will piss off (probably) you and everyone else. But it has haunted me. I have written and re-written it so many times. I am currently in Boston, and last night, sitting outside the Harvard Lampoon, by accident actually, as I was just following the smell of pizza (I am endlessly looking for pizza, all kinds—especially awful pizza—it tickles me pink, it’s my “go-to-zen- thing,” which is nice, because incense is disgusting) I had the revelation. I found myself unable to provide anything beyond even a rigid skeletal form of a piece, burdened by what seems to be an ever-looming sense of existentialism which I am inheriting, not by choice, but by the wear of time vs. my undying and ever-unrequited foolish attachment to sentimentality and romanticism—which is another way of saying, simply, that I am over-sensitive and that this will allow me nothing but a greater will to make art and probably buy me a just single plot and a lonesome, old-age passing. (And if there are free donuts there it will be fine by me—as coffee always works, no matter how bad it is, really.)

The best advice I could think of, and its repetition, in my mind, would be art. Gertrude Stein would be smiling someplace. Also I firmly believe that projecting into the future is anti-abstract and, in principle, is just as bad as Descartes, or worse, Cardinal
Bellarmine. I am totally sure of one thing, however. Nobody has any clue what will happen in 25 years, let alone tomorrow and the reason I know is because I am still here.

Stay in the Moment
Stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
Stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment.

Stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment. Stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment. Stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment. Stay
in the moment, stay in the moment. Stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment. Stay
in the momentin the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment. Stay in the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment. Stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment. Stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment. Stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment. Stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment. Stay in the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment. Stay
in the moment, stay in the moment. Stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment. Stay
in the momentin the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment. Stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment. Stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment. Stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment. Stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment.

Stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment. Stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment. Stay in the
moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment. Stay in the moment, stay in the
moment. Stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment. Stay in the momentin the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment. Stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment. Stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment. Stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment. Stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment. Stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, ment, stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment. Stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment. Stay in the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment. Stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment. Stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment. Stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment. Stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment. Stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment. Stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment. Stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
How to Save the World From Doom 245
Stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the mo-
ment...stay in the moment.

Stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment.
Stay in the moment, stay in the moment.
Stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment. Stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, stay
in the mo-
ment. Stay in
the moment,
stay in the mo-
ment, stay in
the moment,
stay in the
moment.
Stay in the
moment, stay
in the mo-
ment, stay in
the moment,
stay in the
moment, stay
in the mo-
ment, stay in
the moment,
stay in the mo-
ment, stay
in the mo-
ment, stay in
the moment,
stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment. Stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment, stay in the
moment, ment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment. Stay in the moment, stay in
the moment. Stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment. Stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment. Stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment, stay in the
moment. Stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment. Stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment. Stay in the moment, stay in
the moment,
stay in the mo-
ment, stay in
the moment,
ment, stay in
the moment,
stay in the mo-
ment. Stay in
the moment,
stay in the mo-
ment. Stay in
the moment,
stay in the mo-
ment, stay in
the moment,
stay in the mo-
ment. Stay in
the moment,
stay in the mo-
ment, stay in
the moment,
stay in the mo-
ment, stay in
the moment.
Stay in the
moment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment, stay in the moment. Stay in
the moment, stay in the moment, stay
in the moment, stay in the moment. Stay
in the moment, stay in the moment,
stay in the moment, stay in the moment.
Stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment, stay in the moment, stay in the mo-
ment, ment, stay in the moment, stay in
the moment. Stay in the moment, stay
in the moment. Stay in the moment, stay
in the moment...and f**k you if you don’t
understand, but you just time-traveled
by skipping ahead.
•
246 WORLD POLICY JOURNAL • FALL 2008
©Philip N Andelman

fair enough.

prob not fair that he can do no wrong in my eyes, and yet while i dont totally agree....i can still take this at very much its word.

swedish pop fuzz.

goes down nice.

speaking of ry.

our apology.

<3

"[Emmylou Harris] was one of my first crushes. I've always been into intellectual and artistic gals." --Ryan Adams

go ahead and laugh.

but i love these two and would totally watch if they had a little reality show, which they are in talks for.

another one bites it.

goodbye (again) radar. it was fun while it lasted.

work.

here's the thing about the magazine.

i like the magazine. i pretty much like the people at the magazine. i LOVE being home and the workload is def less than am used to (both a good and a bad thing). ive had to do some scary things, but im hopefully getting over it.

thing is, i dont think i ever felt so misunderstood in my life. i realize how whiny that sounds. but have you ever been in a situation like that? where you feel people are getting the wrong vibe off of you? i guess to a point you have to know thats your own g-damn fault, but it also makes me way more sad than im used to being about what people may/may not think about me. not sure that theres any backtracking in this instance, though. so i guess thats it.

grumble.

beards are nice.

http://www.biggerbetterbeards.org/

mgmt remix roundup.

http://www.spin.com/blog/spincoms-top-25-mgmt-remixes

1 point to SPIN.

deft respect.

http://www.pastemagazine.com/blogs/ctrl-v/2008/10/remembering-elliott-smith.html

the very talented henry (the one whose music i was at one time hooked) cooked this up today and i am quite happy with his selections. this kid is going places, hear me?

agreed.

i love you, stella.

morn quote.

“In hotels I always find the Gideon Bible and rip out Leviticus 18:22, which is directed against homosexuals.”
Sir Ian McKellen

r.i.p. levi

your music is cherished.

ryan insert.

loves it.

JVB comes to "one tree hill," visits the set of his old stomping ground.

madonna & guy to divorce.

does this surprise anyone?

galegalegale.

was seriously injured in a motorcycle accident and is in intensive care, therefore ceasing my will to live.
hang in there, you.

be original, friends.

adorable, and true.

wedding songs gone awry.

goodbye, CG.

EXACTLY!! ---->

And then there were two: Hearst Magazines on Friday shuttered Cosmogirl magazine, the teen title it spun off from Cosmopolitan in 1999, with the December issue being the last. Many weren’t surprised to hear the news, given the title’s shrinking ad pages and flattening circulation, but were disappointed another magazine had exited from the teen market. In less than three years, Teen People, Elle Girl and Cosmogirl have folded, leaving Seventeen and Teen Vogue as the two stalwarts.

One of those disappointed was Cosmogirl’s founding editor Atoosa Rubenstein, who believed the magazine had gotten away from its roots as an alternative to its mainstream, high school sweetheart sister title Seventeen. “Cosmogirl was conceived as a magazine for edgy girls. This is a time for edgy ideas. It’s my belief that those girls will still be served, they’ll just be served in new, innovative ways other than a print publication,” she said. “I don’t think it’s the death of the girl, but the death of the magazine, and certainly the sign of the times.”

No longer involved with the magazine business after parting ways with Seventeen and having given birth two months ago to her own little girl, Angelika, “it’s like the closing of an era in my head.” Ironically, Rubenstein was said to be working on a teen-focused Internet project, Alpha Kitty, and a self-help book for teens, but shelved those projects to focus on her family.

hawt.

new beyonce video (just trust, and check it out).

i want.

in blue, duh.

a list i like.

1,000 recordings to hear before you die.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=95613983&ft=1&f=1039

trailer mash ups.

theyre so fun.

another one bites the dust.

cosmogirl folded this morning

http://justjared.buzznet.com/2008/10/10/cosmogirl-folds/

gmail helps you.

this is too funny. drunk emailing, HA!

excited doesnt cover it.

amazing.

hurrah.

empire 500.

what a sad day for list makers everywhere. does anyone agree with this?

http://www.empireonline.com/500

what paste had to say.

their top 25:

1. The Godfather
2. Raiders of the Lost Ark
3. Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back
4. Shawsank Redemption
5. Jaws
6. GoodFellas
7. Apocalypse Now
8. Singin’ in the Rain
9. Pulp Fiction
10. Fight Club
11. Raging Bull
12. The Apartment
13. Chinatown
14. Once Upon a Time In the West
15. The Dark Knight
16. 2001: A Space Odyssey
17. Taxi Driver
18. Casablanca
19. The Godfather Part II
20. Blade Runner
21. The Third Man
22. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
23. Back to the Future
24. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
25. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

oh, my.

weird al is at it again, for one of my faves.

psych.

at the end of the "There Might Be Blood" episode, the guest star says to James Roday and Dule Hill "I've had about enough of your painfully cute mugging." Dule then says, "Who are you, Entertainment Weekly?"

:(
missing you.

palin bashing.

via new york times...get in on that.

manuscript unrolled.

“I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.” - Jack Kerouac, On the Road

news for you.

for you.

forever. i could not have said it better myself.

Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out
BY RICHARD SIKEN

Every morning the maple leaves.
Every morning another chapter where the hero shifts
from one foot to the other. Every morning the same big
and little words all spelling out desire, all spelling out
You will be alone always and then you will die.
So maybe I wanted to give you something more than a catalog
of non-definitive acts,
something other than the desperation.
Dear So-and-So, I'm sorry I couldn't come to your party.
Dear So-and-So, I'm sorry I came to your party
and seduced you
and left you bruised and ruined, you poor sad thing.
Your want a better story. Who wouldn't?
A forest, then. Beautiful trees. And a lady singing.
Love on the water, love underwater, love, love and so on.
What a sweet lady. Sing lady, sing! Of course, she wakes the dragon.
Love always wakes the dragon and suddenly
flames everywhere.
I can tell already you think I'm the dragon,
that would be so like me, but I'm not. I'm not the dragon.
I'm not the princess either.
Who am I? I'm just a writer. I write things down.
I walk through your dreams and invent the future. Sure,
I sink the boat of love, but that comes later. And yes, I swallow
glass, but that comes later.
And the part where I push you
flush against the wall and every part of your body rubs against the bricks,
shut up
I'm getting to it.
For a while I thought I was the dragon.
I guess I can tell you that now. And, for a while, I thought I was
the princess,
cotton candy pink, sitting there in my room, in the tower of the castle,
young and beautiful and in love and waiting for you with
confidence
but the princess looks into her mirror and only sees the princess,
while I'm out here, slogging through the mud, breathing fire,
and getting stabbed to death.
Okay, so I'm the dragon. Bid deal.
You still get to be the hero.
You get the magic gloves! A fish that talks! You get eyes like flashlights!
What more do you want?
I make you pancakes, I take you hunting, I talk to you as if you're
really there.
Are you there, sweetheart? Do you know me? Is this microphone live?
Let me do it right for once,
for the record, let me make a thing of cream and stars that becomes,
you know the story, simply heaven.
Inside your head you hear a phone ringing
and when you open your eyes
only a clearing with deer in it. Hello deer.
Inside your head the sound of glass,
a car crash sound as the trucks roll over and explode in slow motion.
Hello darling, sorry about that.
Sorry about the bony elbows, sorry we
lived here, sorry about the scene at the bottom of the stairwell
and how I ruined everything by saying it out loud.
Especially that, but I should have known.
You see, I take the parts that I remember and stitch them back together
to make a creature that will do what I say
or love me back.
I'm not really sure why I do it, but in this version you are not
feeding yourself to a bad man
against a black sky prickled with small lights.
I take it back.
The wooden halls likes caskets. These terms from the lower depths.
I take them back.
Here is the repeated image of the lover destroyed.
Crossed out.
Clumsy hands in a dark room. Crossed out. There is something
underneath the floorboards.
Crossed out. And here is the tabernacle
reconstructed.
Here is the part where everyone was happy all the time and we were all
forgiven,
even though we didn't deserve it.
Inside your head you hear
a phone ringing, and when you open your eyes you're washing up
in a stranger's bathroom,
standing by the window in a yellow towel, only twenty minutes away
from the dirtiest thing you know.
All the rooms of the castle except this one, says someone, and suddenly
darkness,
suddenly only darkness.
In the living room, in the broken yard,
in the back of the car as the lights go by. In the airport
bathroom's gurgle and flush, bathed in a pharmacy of
unnatural light,
my hands looking weird, my face weird, my feet too far away.
And the the airplane, the window seat over the wing with a view
of the wing and a little foil bag of peanuts.
I arrived in the city and you met me at the station,
smiling in a way
that made me frightened. Down the alley, around the arcade,
up the stairs of the building
to the little room with the broken faucets, your drawings, all your things,
I looked out the window and said
This doesn't look that much different from home,
because it didn't,
but then I noticed the black sky and all those lights.
We walked through the house to the elevated train.
All these buildings, all that glass and the shiny beautiful
mechanical wind.
We were inside the train car when I started to cry. You were crying too,
smiling and crying in a way that made me
even more hysterical. You said I could have anything I wanted, but I
just couldn't say it out loud.
Actually, you said Love, for you,
is larger than the usual romantic love. It's like a religion. It's
terrifying. No one
will ever want to sleep with you.
Okay, if you're so great, you do it—
here's the pencil, make it work . . .
If the window is on your right, you are in your own bed. If the window
is over your heart, and it is painted shut, then we are breathing
river water.
Build me a city and call it Jerusalem. Build me another and call it
Jerusalem.
We have come back from Jerusalem where we found not
what we sought, so do it over, give me another version,
a different room, another hallway, the kitchen painted over
and over,
another bowl of soup.
The entire history of human desire takes about seventy minutes to tell.
Unfortunately, we don't have that kind of time.
Forget the dragon,
leave the gun on the table, this has nothing to do with happiness.
Let's jump ahead to the moment of epiphany,
in gold light, as the camera pans to where
the action is,
lakeside and backlit, and it all falls into frame, close enough to see
the blue rings of my eyes as I say
something ugly.
I never liked that ending either. More love streaming out the wrong way,
and I don't want to be the kind that says the wrong way.
But it doesn't work, these erasures, this constant refolding of the pleats.
There were some nice parts, sure,
all lemondrop and mellonball, laughing in silk pajamas
and the grains of sugar
on the toast, love love or whatever, take a number. I'm sorry
it's such a lousy story.
Dear Forgiveness, you know that recently
we have had our difficulties and there are many things
I want to ask you.
I tried that one time, high school, second lunch, and then again,
years later, in the chlorinated pool.
I am still talking to you about help. I still do not have
these luxuries.
I have told you where I'm coming from, so put it together.
We clutch our bellies and roll on the floor . . .
When I say this, it should mean laughter,
not poison.
I want more applesauce. I want more seats reserved for heroes.
Dear Forgiveness, I saved a plate for you.
Quit milling around the yard and come inside.

pushing daisies is back.

thanks the heavens. i could barely breathe without it.

http://buzzsugar.com/2136511

yes.

the last two lines of this poem kill my soul. THIS is what i want, friends.

To The Dead, by Frank Bidart

What I hope (when I hope) is that we'll
see each other again,--

. . . and again reach the VEIN

in which we loved each other . .
It existed. It existed.

There is a NIGHT within the NIGHT,--

. . . for, like the detectives (the Ritz Brothers)
in The Gorilla,

once we'd been battered by the gorilla

we searched the walls, the intricately carved
impenetrable paneling

for a button, lever, latch

that unlocks a secret door that
reveals at last the secret chambers,

CORRIDORS within WALLS,

(the disenthralling, necessary, dreamed structure
beneath the structure we see,)

that is the HOUSE within the HOUSE . . .

There is a NIGHT within the NIGHT,--

. . . there were (for example) months when I seemed only
to displease, frustrate,

disappoint you--; then, something triggered

a drunk lasting for days, and as you
slowly and shakily sobered up,

sick, throbbing with remorse and self-loathing,

insight like ashes: clung
to; useless; hated . . .

This was the viewing of the power of the waters

while the waters were asleep:--
secrets, histories of loves, betrayals, double-binds

not fit (you thought) for the light of day . . .

There is a NIGHT within the NIGHT,--

. . . for, there at times at night, still we
inhabit the secret place together . . .

Is this wisdom, or self-pity?--

The love I've known is the love of
two people staring

not at each other, but in the same direction.

the sexiest.

Green Mountain Idyll

Hayden Carruth

Honey I'd split your kindling

clean & bright

& fine

if you was mine

baby baby

I'd taken to you like my silky hen

my bluetick bitch my sooey sow

my chipmunk my finchbird

& my woodmouse

if you was living at my house

I'd mulch your strawberries & cultivate

your potato patch

all summer long

& then in winter

come thirty below and the steel-busting weather

I'd tune your distributor & adjust

your carburetor

if me & you was together

be it sunshine be it gloom

summer or the mean mud season

honey I'd kiss you

every morningtime

& evenings I'd hurry

to get shut of the barn chores early

& then in the dark of the night

I'd stand at the top of the stairs & hold the light

for you for you

if you'd sleep in my room

& when old crazy come down the mountain after you

with his big white pecker in his hand

you would only holler

& from the sugar house

the mow the stable

or wherever I'm at

I'd come god I'd come running to you

like a turpentined cat

only in our bed

honey

no hurting

but like as if it was

git- music

or new-baked bread

I'd fuck so easy

sweet-talking & full of love

if you was just my daisy

& my dove

endangered words.

for a good cause, people.

leave it to me.

i have a great skill at fucking everything up.

"i told you to be patient. i told you to be fine and i told you to be balanced and i told you to be kind and now all your love is wasted and who the hell was i? and im breaking at the brithces and at the end of all your lines."

banksy.

hmrm.

love this man.

video.

keenan & connor's masterwork.

not boring at all.

kevin smith blogs.

http://silentbobspeaks.com/?p=381

you complete me.

http://www.popmatters.com/pm/review/63469/pushing-daisies-the-complete-first-season/

beautiful.

i'd love for someone to write me a love song. who wouldnt? i'd love more for someone to just tell me how they feel. letters are nice too.

http://stereogum.com/archives/new-ray-lamontagne-meg-white_023811.html

EW, i miss you.

and THIS is why EW is the greatest mag on the planet, and why i miss it so dearly.
http://gawker.com/5054741/entertainment-weekly-parodies-infamous-new-yorker-cover

lookin' hilarious.

W. trailer

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810026489/video/9880120/standardformat/

weekend without j.

she's out of town for the first time since i got here. i wonder how things will go down.....here's the early plan!

fri: work/take somewhere to the vet/debates (?)/wet bar with interns
sat: force c into watching good movies/relapse/cut copy show
sun: movie day /w matt(?)/rehearsals

that sounds charming. totally movie and music'ed out, just the way i like it.

funny funny.

bill, from my office, did this. i kind of cant believe it.

http://www.pastemagazine.com/blogs/ctrl-v/2008/09/the-story-of-the-2008-presidential-election-in-son.html

lying to yourself.

is pointless. i know this. im known for being esp good about being totally honest with myself and admitting everything i feel, despite the outcomes. that part is def out of the way. so when do i start admitting the rest? for the first time in...a long time? forever?...i have a secret. and that is so, so weird.

OK, its not totally a secret because, like, 2 people know about it. but not anyone that really "matters." yeah, not going to explain that. anyways. the question is, if i know i cant control my own emotions, why am i trying? i usually let myself get hurt fast to get it out of the way. the situation is different. and so, totally hopeless. i think. i change my mind about that daily so stay tuned.

since when did i even start believing this was possible!? ugh, fuck you. and fuck you to every person i've ever liked that didnt like me back (uh, thats all of you). if there's anything i know for sure, its that any of you would have been lucky to have me. at least i dont have a complex.

yeah, take that at its word friends. sorry for the vagueness, still sorting this one out.

wicked.

is coming to the fox in atlanta. i admit its a little silly to want to go see a play i've seen on broadway 3-4 times already. in atlanta, no less. (ps- i love how people here think its the "real" wicked...dont they know they cant just shut down the NY production while the cast tours? its a totally different group, people!) anyways. i want to drag some friends to see it. it really is my fave.

meanwhile, am avoiding planning my birthday like the plague.

ry ry.

fix it.

listen to the beautifullness.

http://cave.cardinology.com/post/51422840/ryan-adams-and-the-cardinals-cardinology-out-oct

lauren emails.

Best episode recap I've ever read:

http://gawker.com/5053573/gossip-girl--what-tangled-knots-of-hair-we-nair

i trust her.

fuck tuesday.

it only tuesday!?

WASHINGTON, DC—After running a thousand errands, working hours of overtime, and being stuck in seemingly endless gridlock traffic commuting to and from their jobs, millions of Americans were disheartened to learn that it was, in fact, only Tuesday.

"Tuesday?" San Diego resident Doris Wagner said. "How in the hell is it still Tuesday?"

Already the week is unbearable for these New Yorkers awaiting a subway train, and it's only fucking Tuesday.

Tuesday's arrival stunned a nation still recovering from the nightmarish slog that was Monday, leaving some to wonder if the week was ever going to end, and others to ask what was taking Saturday so goddamn long.

"Ugh," said Wagner, echoing a national sense of frustration over it not even being Wednesday at the very least.

According to suddenly depressed sources, the feeling that this week may in fact last forever was further compounded by the thought of all the work left to be done tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and, if Americans make it that far, possibly even Friday, for Christ's sake.

Fears that the week could actually be going backwards were also expressed.

"Not only do Americans have most of Tuesday morning to contend with, but all of Tuesday afternoon and then Tuesday night," National Labor Relations Board spokesman David Prynn said. "If our calculations are correct, there is a chance we are in effect closer to last weekend than the one coming up."

Added Prynn: "Fuck."

Believe it or not, it's not even goddamn lunchtime yet for these commuters in Southern California.

Reports that this all has to be some kind of sick joke could not be confirmed as of press time.

Isolated attempts to make the day go faster, such as glancing at watches or clocks every other minute, compulsively checking e-mail, hiding in the office bathroom, fidgeting, or reading a boring magazine while sitting in the waiting room, have also proven unsuccessful, sources report.

The National Institutes of Standards and Technology, which oversees the official time of the United States, is flatly denying that it has slowed or otherwise tampered with Tuesday's progression.

"The current Tuesday is keeping apace with past Tuesdays with no more than one ten-thousandth of a second's variation at the most," NIST spokeswoman Dr. Geraldine Schach said. "However, I sympathize with the common consensus that this week has already been a colossal pain in the neck."

Labor Secretary Elaine Chao released a statement addressing widespread speculation that it might as well be Monday for all anyone cares.

"We understand this day has been tough on many of you, what with meetings mercilessly dragging on and an entire stack of files still left to organize," Chao's statement read in part. "Yet we urge Americans to show patience. The midweek hump is just around the corner, and we have strong reason to believe that Saturday will be here before you know it."

"Go about your lives as best you can," the statement continued. "Do not, we repeat, do not take a sick day, as it'll make the rest of the week that much harder to endure."

In the meantime, citizens are doing their best to cope with the interminable week, though Tuesday is still hours away from ending.

"The more I try to speed it along, the longer it almost seems to take," said Dale Bouchard, a Chicago-based broker who has been waiting for today to be over since it first began earlier this morning. "Honestly, today could not have come at a worse time this week."

In the meantime, the latest wristwatch consultations indicate that it is somehow still Tuesday, if that makes any sense at all.

his girl friday.

for those with less time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY33tYVDvfk

funny story.

this girl at work told me that her ex-boyfriend was so good in bed that half the time, her whole body would spasm just by him walking into the room. pretty sure thats never happened to me in real life, but it has happened whilst looking at beautifully crafted photos of hot celebs.

this one made me shudder for at least 2 mins. enjoy.

i hate this.

does anyone like?

james bond theme feat. jack white & alicia keys.

oh, brit.

i dont know about this one.

tango.

the site is looking good via new facelift (via the awesome nicole) --

check it out.

awesomeness.

in another life, i would have designed indie music posters for a living. i'm not in that life, which makes looking at these bittersweet, a little heartbreaking but mostly magical as hell (can you see i'm in my romantic mood today?)

check out the full beauty.

ohhellsno. HELP!

most likely news of the day.

well, duh.

if megan fox didnt come out as bi at some point, i would have been utterly shocked. and um, who WOULDNT hit that!?

scared.

the other day, my friend connor asked me if i like anyone right now.

sadened to admit that this is the one and only question i cannot answer truthfully. and not necessarily because i dont want to (what i told him) but also because, if i wont admit it to myself....why would i admit it to others?

my crushes fall in 3 distinct categories:

*a silly/could never happen/i dont honestly care crush that i talk freely about to anyone that will listen (most of them)
*long term "the one that got away" crushes that are here to stay, but never going to happen either (these arent newly made, just a few from my younger years)
*people im mad crushin' on that could actually happen, if i allowed myself to really believe that (these are very, very rare)

i say this not to sound woe-as-me. but after 24 yrs of crushes (and, oh honey, when you've been alone as much and as long as i, you crush much!) its very hard to think honestly about anything happening. i crush hard, because ive got nothing to loose.

now go listen to another 'paper planes' remix to cheer yourself up.

sad day.

....when you have to mourn the loss of a great, great writer.

i believe.

R.I.P

i finally put my signature necklace to rest after breaking it about 4 times. even thought no one ever knew what you were (and bugged me about it constantly)....you were a good friend, MR. FAWN (got it, people!?) ... you saw me through some good times that no one else was around for. i'm sorry i lost your very expensive chanel buddy. more sorry for myself though on that one though.

live well in necklace heaven!

i want.

wtf.

http://www.perezhiltonthemusical.com/

cant wait.

make lemonade.

Lemondrop.com

...is live! the site ive been working on is totally rad and totally surfable as of this very moment. its purty, if i do say so myself.

AND: one of my galleries is on the aol.com homepage. SWEET. i used to look at that everyday. life is super funny like that, yall.

bon iver, youre a dreamboat.

listen to the gorgeousness.

addiction.

i have an addiction. an addiction to threadless. just spent over $100 there. but oh, oh so happy in return. also possibly because they sent us home from work today at 12pm. n-i-c-e. and, it just started raining. and (in case you dont know me. ya creep)...i really love rain. esp on days when im just at home hanging out and catching up on all the TV that i forgot was premiering in the last few weeks. (bones, not so great....gossip girl, as embarassingly addictive as ever).

things i miss about new york: being able to just open the door to let somewhere out.
having my own tv/dvr.
having my own bed.
sex.
wine on sundays.
whatever food i want whenever i want it (awh, max brenner. how i miss thee).
lauren making sure im not the most saracastic, bitchy ass in the room. ;)
EW (the thing i miss the most, duh).
tv marathons with jones.
fast/easy/reliable public transportation.

what i dont miss: everything else.

brotherhood.

yeh, im related.

song of the moment.

bueller.

pretty fun stuff. and the stuff i'm missing...

badass.

totally fucking loves it.

HA!

“Am I gay?...If you want to know the truth, ask the people who go to bed with me.”
Dusty Springfield

tv (revised).

FALL TV SCHEDULE

Monday
8: Gossip Girl
8: Big Bang Theory —9/22
8: Dollhouse —2009
830: How I Met Your Mother —9/22
9: One Tree Hill
9: Two & a Half Men —9/22
9: Prison Break
930: Samantha Who? —10/6

Tuesday
8: 90210
8: House —9/16
9: Privleged
9: Greek

Wednesday
8: Pushing Daises —10/1
8: Top Model
8: Bones
9: Private Practice —10/1
10: Dirty Sexy Money —10/1
10: Project Runway
10: Lipstick Jungle —9/24

Thursday
8: Ugly Betty —9/25
8:30: Kath & Kim —10/9
9: Supernatural —9/18
9: Greys Anatomy —9/25
930: 30 Rock —10/30
10: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia —9/18
11: The Cho Show

Friday
8: Ghost Whisperer —10/3
9: The Ex-List —10/3
10: The Starter Wife —10/10

Saturday

Sunday
10: Brothers and Sisters —9/28

i saw three movies monday.

and felt equally "good" about them all. no greatness, though. i love emma stone though. and her HOT boyfriend teddy geiger.

house bunny
the rocker
hamlet 2

gonna be hot.

Pedro Almodovar has wooed Sony Pictures Classics to "Broken Embraces," the helmer’s latest collaboration with "Volver" thesp Penelope Cruz. Almodovar scripted. SPC has taken North American rights. Pic, which also stars Almodovar vets Lluis Homar and Blanca Portillo, is being shot in the style of 1950s American film noir. Almodovar is lensing on location in Madrid and the Canary Islands. The plot involves a four-person love story and "touches on many genres," including thriller, according to the director. Pic will be the 10th Almodovar film from Sony’s specialty arm.