is pointless. i know this. im known for being esp good about being totally honest with myself and admitting everything i feel, despite the outcomes. that part is def out of the way. so when do i start admitting the rest? for the first time in...a long time? forever?...i have a secret. and that is so, so weird.
OK, its not totally a secret because, like, 2 people know about it. but not anyone that really "matters." yeah, not going to explain that. anyways. the question is, if i know i cant control my own emotions, why am i trying? i usually let myself get hurt fast to get it out of the way. the situation is different. and so, totally hopeless. i think. i change my mind about that daily so stay tuned.
since when did i even start believing this was possible!? ugh, fuck you. and fuck you to every person i've ever liked that didnt like me back (uh, thats all of you). if there's anything i know for sure, its that any of you would have been lucky to have me. at least i dont have a complex.
yeah, take that at its word friends. sorry for the vagueness, still sorting this one out.
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