amen, sister.

I'm alone because life doesn't always wind up the way you expect it to, and it wound up this way for me, and I roll with it.
why its okay to be alone. check it.


found fotos.

awh, fuzzy.

me: god i love this guy and this song reminds me of you
Sent at 3:40 PM on Friday
mkeelan: i love this song/album
me: you should make me a mix, sir.
thats my bag
no rush, but if you ever think of it/enjoy that kind of thing. i dont have many musical friends here
mkeelan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vl3V0dTRDvI
this is my fav on the album tho
i dunno what this rogue vid is
me: ha
i love crazy youtube fan vids
but yeah, thats my fave on the album too, believe it or not. i covered it, actually
mkeelan: wow really?
i didn't know you played music
woman of many talents
me: oh yeah. i wouldnt have the balls to put huge guitar ink on my arms if i couldnt jam. i just have anxiety so i cant perform in front of people. i mostly play in my bathtub
mkeelan: wow
that's kind of amazing
me: good acoustics
mkeelan: the imagery is endearing
Sent at 3:47 PM on Friday

sallie mae is making me crazy, and other things.

ha! -- logged into myspace today for the first time in awhile. saw this old comment from Lauren for the first time.

"What the hell will you do when you're not a Southern Dropout anymore, Miss Bradshaw? I misses you. You're the only one with a good dose of snark in ya. Also the only one who can pull off singing Miley that loud with that many tatts."

chris, 3.

just had a skate-gasim.


iphone background winner.

[the frisky used it, too!]

nyc: fuck yeah.

LoSim@lolankford Wish I could make your world whole. I'd do almost anything for you. You know that. Hang in. My twin used to say "pain is love."
april 11th - 18th.
lets fucking tear the city down.

bon bon bontastic.





learn to open up...

or just get out of my life. you dont have to love me, you dont have to touch me and you dont even really have to even like me all that much yet. but you have to fucking talk to me. open up, just a little. about whats in you. otherwise, whats the point?

ps- i care because im falling for you. and thats okay. sometimes, the beauty is in the attempt.

high school.

i hear in my mind, all this music and it breaks my heart.

(Shake it up)

I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds

I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music

And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart

And suppose I never, ever met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall

All my friends say that of course its gonna get better
Gonna get better
Better better better better
Better better better

I never love nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost
In the sounds
I hear in my mind
All of these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all of this music
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart

I hear in my mind all of these voices
I hear in my mind all of these words
I hear in my mind all of this music
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
Breaks my heart
Breaks my heart
Breaks my heart
When it breaks my heart
Breaks my heart
Breaks my heart
Breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart

lets just call it what it is.

shawn: hey there
did you get the check?
Sent at 1:53 PM on Wednesday
me: not yet
how are ya?
shawn: good
you should get it soon
sorry that it is taking so long
me: no, no. its ok!
shawn: how are things with you?
and have you heard from chris?
cause i have not
so i can email her again if she has not talked with you
me: this house is breaking me. just so much money goes in with rent/bills/furniture, etc. hope it stops soon!
and havent heard from chris
shawn: ok
well i will email her again
i know
moving and getting a place livable is so costly
there are just things you don't even think about
me: exactly. its a little never ending
has the time changed there yet?
Sent at 2:06 PM on Wednesday
shawn: no
i don't know when it is supposed to happen
so how are things with you?
Sent at 2:08 PM on Wednesday
me: up and down a lot right now
still in that limbo stage. some days i feel great, some days i feel totally tortured about the state of my life
i got my nyc trip planned though, thank god
i think having my stuff here will help. i had put it off b/c of the money but i just had to pull the plug
Sent at 2:10 PM on Wednesday
shawn: yeah
i can understand that
it think that will help make things feel more like home
me: yeah. maybe it will also be good for me to get to say a real goodbye
for some reason, im really missing nyc. its so ironic
shawn: seriously
me: loved the new blog post, btw!
god- it took forever
so long and getting all the pictures together
well we should take a weekend trip this summer
to nyc
i mean of course there would be things you will miss
what are your thoughts- i mean are you thinking you would want to move back
or are you just missing it
me: http://southerndropout.blogspot.com/2009/03/ok-i-admit-it.html
i think thats it
i think the only way i would move back again after this is if someone went with me. the only thing that really go be about that town was always being so alone
im paying 900$ to move here from nyc, so a part of me hopes i never go back....haha. but you never know
once my friends here leave and spread out, the point of being here will become less and less
shawn: yeah
that is true
who knows
i mean nyc is a special place
i can't see myself ever not missing it
but i know what you mean about being lonely there
it is really easy to be lonely there
cause there is just so much to do
me: its just funny/ironic for me because all i wanted when i was there was to come home, and ever since i moved home ive been missing it. its a grass is always greener complex
shawn: maybe you should just move somewehere else
like seattle
or something
me: yep
shawn: haha
after all of this
me: seattle is it, i think
shawn: i want to move there too
i mean roark and i almost did
at one point
me: if im honest with myself, i think i'll be in atlanta 1-3 years and then i'll move on. possibly back to nyc, but more likely to seattle or somewhere in california. and hopefully with someone, like a cute/nice boy!
shawn: hahaha
i mean you did not see this being a final move
from the start
you just wanted that time with your friends
so i would focus on that
make it worth the move
btw- how are things with the ever elusive man friend
me: ha! you tell me.

ok, i admit it.

i just thought about taking a walk in the EV,...and got misty eyed. lauren simpson, WTF. why do i miss new york so much? i was so miserable. it was so hard, so often. is it like with a relationship where you only remember the good stuff? is it always going to be this back and forth? am i ever going to know i made the right choice?

but then again, i know the answer. i only miss nyc when im feeling lonely in atlanta. it was so much easier being lonely there.

do it justice, girl.

30 things women love that men dont understand.

1. Drunk online shopping
2. Trapeze dresses
3. Having a good cry
4. Dark nail polish
5. Reality TV dating shows
6. Brunch
7. Constantly changing one’s Facebook status
8. Frozen yogurt
9. Gossiping—about real life people we know, don’t know, or only know through magazines, TV, and movies
10. Cooing over adorable pictures of baby animals
11. Sexless cotton brief underwear
12. The Swiffer
13. “Twilight”
14. The music of Beyonce, Chris Brown, and Madonna
15. Musicals
16. Short haircuts
17. Chuck Bass
18. Shopping during a crisis
19. Multiple bed pillows
20. Girly drinks
21. $50 scented candles
22. Movies starring and/or produced by Drew Barrymore and Reese Witherspoon
23. Men who appear dirty and grimy, but are actually totally hot, i.e. Robert Pattinson, Justin Bobby, etc.
24. Michael Cera
25. Miniatures
26. Astrology
27. Collecting magazines
28. Dancing
29. Jeans tucked into boots
30. Foreplay
[the frisky]

this is what ive been saying. damn.

"Thankfully, a new study published in the March issue of the Review of General Psychology found that a surprisingly high number of long-term couples, including some who had been married over 20 years, reported that they still felt deeply in love with their partners. The researchers draw a distinction between romantic love and passionate love. “Romantic love,” the researchers say, “has the same intensity, engagement and sexual chemistry as passionate love has, but without the obsession. Passionate love, on the other hand, includes feelings of uncertainty and anxiety.” Well, if that’s the case, I’ll take romance over passion any day. According to the researchers, there are some “tricks” to making that romantic kind of love endure for the long-term."
[the frisky]


[the frisky]


“Barack calls it my ‘Star Trek’ belt. He doesn’t understand fashion ... He’s always asking: ‘Is that new? I haven’t seen that before.’ It’s like, Why don’t you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet.”


love vandal.

i should see this again.

the final [L] word.

didnt love the finale, but loved the show. and will miss it.

emotionally stilted.

it becomes less about the argument and more about the fact that youre having one, right? caring hurts, scuffles hurt and feeling vulnerable is intensely embarassing. when your first and immediate instinct is to run away, how do you not listen to that? once you open the door, even if its just a crack, to let someone in, you allow them to effect your mood in a way that is so diabilitating. sometimes its hard not to really miss just being alone.


goodbye, for now, my new york flat.

i'm going to come visit you soon, but then i'm going to leave you -- possibly for good. i love you always, nyc. you were the affair of a lifetime. but you just never fit me the way good ol' georgia does. and thats ironic, because i never thought georgia fit me. sure, she was reliable and cute enough, but i thought i needed something more. a spark, an adventure. but now ive had my time with the crazy bitch that is new york and im ready to settle down. i want to be comfortable and excepted for who i am. im growing up, im moving on ...

love actually.

"you know the thing about romance is people only get together right at the end."


show? magical as always.

Mockingbird - Ryan Adams & The Cardinals
Mockingbirds sing
Sing me what the Lord was singing
On the day He made the water
The color of the blues
Sing me that song
Sing me to till the heavens rising
On the day He made the water
The color of my baby's eyes
Love her in the ways you want to be loved
Love her in the ways she wants to be loved
Love her in the ways you want to be loved
But the way I'm loving her
It must not be enough
Cause in the way she cries
It only tears me up
I feel dead inside and dying
And if you give up
Don't give up on love
Don't give up on love
The rivers they run
They run until they get too tired
Until they run behind the houses
And they become a creek
When I was a child
I ran until the creek became a river
When it turned into the ocean
I wondered why He'd made it so deep
Love her in the ways you want to be loved
Love her in the ways you want to be loved
Love her in the ways you want to be loved
But the way I'm loving her
Must not be enough
Cause the way she cries
It only tears me up
I feel dead inside and dying
Don't give up
Cause in a way she's crying
It only tears me up
I feel dead inside and dying
Give up
Don't give up on love
Don't give up on love
Love her in the ways you want to be loved
Love her in the ways you want to be loved
Love her in the ways you want to be loved
Sometimes it ain't enough
Sometimes it ain't enough
But don't give up on love

truth, hallelujah!

To cut or not to cut an ex from your life after a breakup, that is the question. Just last week, a dear friend of mine had her divorce finalized after a long, drawn-out three year separation. Upon hearing that her now ex-husband wants to cut off all communication with her for the foreseeable future, she’s distraught. Over the course of their separation, they’d managed to remain quite friendly, keeping in touch with phone calls and texts, and even meeting up for occasional dinners out and seeing bands together they both loved. But now that the divorce is finalized, her ex says he needs time to process the ending of their marriage and to really close that chapter and move on. She’s devastated that she won’t have him in her life the way she has in the last few years and thinks he’s being unreasonable and even a little mean. I, on the other hand, think he’s doing what’s best for them both and that a little space will give them the kind of closure they probably could have benefited from years ago.

Of course, every relationship and breakup is different and there isn’t a one right way to navigate a post-breakup friendship, but in general, cutting off an ex, at least for the short-term, seems like a healthy way to process feelings and figure out who “you” are when you’re no longer part of a “we.” It can be tempting to remain close to the person whose life was so intertwined with yours, but jumping into a friendship with an ex muddles those often very confusing emotions following a breakup. About five years ago when I amicably ended a four-year live-in relationship, I continued to see my ex-boyfriend on a weekly basis. I’d often go to his apartment after one of my evening classes in graduate school since his apartment was just a short walk from campus. We’d order or cook dinner together and settle in for some TV-watching and I’d think, See, this isn’t so bad? Breakups don’t have to be so sad!

The truth was, things felt so similar to how they were when we were still a couple, I think I just extended my healing process months longer than it had to be. When I started dating other guys, it just seemed really odd and confusing to continue this somewhat emotionally intimate relationship with someone I knew I needed to move away from in order to truly “clean my relationship palette.” It was sad walking away from him completely, but breakups are supposed to be sad, and in the end, cutting contact from him was what finally helped me close that chapter for good and realize just how much happier I was on my own...and how much richer a relationship could be with someone who was right for me. It’s really in feeling those often uncomfortable emotions that we move to a healthier emotional space.

I’m not saying one can never be friends with an ex. Depending on how serious the relationship was to begin with, or how easy the breakup was, it’s possible to immediately and seamlessly move into a friendship. Additionally, even serious relationships that end with a lot of emotional fanfare can eventually create enough distance to be close again. I’ve never experienced the latter myself, but then, I never really saw the point in rekindling a friendship with anyone who valued a day of golf over everything else. Perspective is usually a better friend than any ex can be…




words can not express excitement.


definition of marriage.

“(1): the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2): the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage [same-sex marriage].”

take that shit.

congrats, christina!

The actress has gotten engaged to her boyfriend, actor and comedian Owen Benjamin, according to People.

um, no.

bad rolling stone, bad!

jealousy never made much sense to me.

but for the record -- this is who i think about when i cant sleep. and plenty of other times too.

out april 1st.

if youre a fan of his songwriting, pick it up.

new jeans.

its prob been 3 years, but i finally made it happen. yum!


josh lyon, a former editor at jane and interview magazines, is about to release his first book in june/july. i care because i love the guy to little bitty bits and pieces and because, you know, i was sorta-kinda involved. winks. dotdotdot.

anyways, im so excited/proud/humbled/freaking out about the whole thing and i just cant wait to see the galley and to see what happens when it hits shelves.

[his blog]
it's on amazon!
interview for a good housekeeping story! (he did lots of these)

fuckin' beautiful.

[but prob not as pretty as jessicas. cant wait to see the final stage of that ring!]

lauren love.

[thanks, you.]

improv everywhere.



its funny that the people that dont like this song are likely the ones that need to really hear it the most. i love it.

Say - John Mayer

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say [x8]

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead,
If you could only ...

Say what you need to say [x8]

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say [x24]


not great. sorry, VW.