scared.

the other day, my friend connor asked me if i like anyone right now.

sadened to admit that this is the one and only question i cannot answer truthfully. and not necessarily because i dont want to (what i told him) but also because, if i wont admit it to myself....why would i admit it to others?

my crushes fall in 3 distinct categories:

*a silly/could never happen/i dont honestly care crush that i talk freely about to anyone that will listen (most of them)
*long term "the one that got away" crushes that are here to stay, but never going to happen either (these arent newly made, just a few from my younger years)
*people im mad crushin' on that could actually happen, if i allowed myself to really believe that (these are very, very rare)

i say this not to sound woe-as-me. but after 24 yrs of crushes (and, oh honey, when you've been alone as much and as long as i, you crush much!) its very hard to think honestly about anything happening. i crush hard, because ive got nothing to loose.

now go listen to another 'paper planes' remix to cheer yourself up.