scary.

just got home late from UO and have a bunch of emails from one of my editors. needs a story ASAP, which means im going to be up late and then getting up early again in the morning for UO. yuck. good thing i get plenty of sleep most days. :)
i shouldnt whine at all.
but i just dont know if this HT thing is worth it sometimes. i feel like its always bad timing with them...

tonight i kept thinking about how i think i scare people off. like, i think i come off as kinda shy/maybe a bitch. neither is true, im just quiet. but then i think that (sometimes) once people get to know me they like me and THEN i scare them off. because i talk constantly and im so passionate and all over the place. its like i try to stay quiet as not to scare people but then i come out of the box like a crazy person and they run away.

sigh. i dont know if that even makes sense anywhere but in my head but i feel like it happens a lot. i meet someone, i click with them and then they disappear. and one of my greatest fears is bugging people because i had a friend "break up" with me because she said i had too much going on in my brain. i constantly tell myself to chill out....eh, whatever. im crazy and i like it.

sigh. (again).
back to work.