the way it is.

its funny, i forget that this is a public blog and that people read it. until someone asks me about something ive written, which always throws me off at first. i mean, i like that about it and if i didnt i would just keep a diary. but i just think its funny how shocked i am everytime someone brings something up. it happened 3 times today.
but, i digress.

its 12:47 and i have to be at urban at 10. i should prob go to bed, but i have an article due that will prob keep me up until 3-4am. that sucks. but, we've had this discussion before and you dont want to hear it, right? yeah.

today i paid nearly $400 for a plane ride to WV to see my brother play football and to see my grandparents over thanksgiving. im flying on thanksgiving day, so that i could go to the parade in the city and so that i dont have to fly the day before wednesday, since aiports/flying gives me a huge anxiety attack and everyone knows the day before thanksgiving is a bloody nightmare at the airports.
so, im broke now and unable to make my loan payment on friday which means im going to default on my student loans again. but i havent seen my brother in a year, so i guess im supposed to say its worth it. i just wish flying to WV wasnt such a pain. i have to fly from NY-NC-WV. its weird.

sigh, my mother would say i need a rich man. at this point i'd settle for a poor man that doesnt mind listening to me gripe and then giving me a hug.

or, if anyone could find scott speedman for me...that might work too.

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